I have a confession to make…… I am a liar.
Before you judge me, let me tell you that you are a liar too.
Trust me on this, I am not lying.
Did you feel offended? I guess so. But why? I didn’t abuse you, neither did I insult you. Well, don’t worry, you are not the only one who felt this adjective unpleasant.
Strangely, whatever teachings we have gained from our parents and teachers have been very extreme. Either this or that. Let me elaborate: we have been taught to be honest and not lie at any cost. But, over the years while we gain maturity, we eventually realize that either of these won’t work at all; neither complete honesty nor complete deception.
The most ideal choice is to find a middle ground and everybody does it in some way or the other, but none of us admit it; after all, we are great pretenders!!
We have been lying since we were kids, and the skill is just getting better as we grow. We all have marginalized lying in such a negative way that we fail to acknowledge that we have already practiced it for years. You must have several fixated notions on this, but as they say, every cloud has a silver lining, let’s give it a try!
When couples lie about their “happy marriages” only to make their child feel that it has one-good-happy-family,
When your peers ask you how life, no matter what misery you are going through; all you answer is “Oh, It’s great!”,
You know the pasta your partner just made, is too salty but you lie, because that disappointment on your partner's face hurts you.
The doctor knows the kid will die soon because he is ill, but he tricks him into believing that a beautiful future is waiting for him.
Everyone mentioned above, are liar, but for some reason, their lie doesn’t seem to harm anyone. So, the lesson which I was taught as a kid, is that “lying hurts people” can have a different meaning.
Why would a couple suffer in an unhappy marriage? Maybe they think that is right for the mental health of their kid.
Why would you not share your misery with someone? Maybe they are not the ones who will comprehend your pain.
Why would someone eat salty pasta? Maybe you don’t want that disappointment on your partner’s face.
Why would the doctor lie? Maybe a small expectation of that kid would bring him joy.
The reasoning may differ from person to person, situation to situation, and many more bizarre factors, but the bottom line; is that intent matters more than the “lie”.
When a lie is told for someone else’s well-being, we call it a prosocial lie. So, the lie that I was taught since child was not this but, an antisocial lie (lie told for your own benefit). There will always be a different perception of everything.
Now, why should you lie?
LIE = HOPE
The whole world is revolving around this one thing; hope. What is it? A lie, perhaps.
We are aware that, the greatest challenge of life lies in its unpredictability. But, still at every juncture when we fail, the phrase that lets us get going is, “Everything will be fine, let’s hope for the best.”
We don’t know the future, but we still lie to ourselves that everything will be fine. Our belief in that lie makes it true. The journey to our true dreams goes through a lie that says; “This isn’t my reality.” The initial step toward our destination is not hard work but a lie that we all tell ourselves, “I don’t belong here.”
LIE Builds TRUST
Quite an irony, huh? Life is ironic!
There wasn’t a need to eat that salty pasta, then why this stupidity? Well, nothing much but, these little gestures, these details make the art of love more beautiful. The relationship builds on trust and lasts on trust, these little things make your partner realize that you care.
The doctor could have been straightforward, but his lie made his patient believe that he had a wonderful future ahead. Their trust in each other could actually turn his lie into reality.
When the lie that you said for the sake of someone’s betterment gets caught, the other person believes in you more than before. You need to be selfless to become a prosocial liar. The next time you eat that salty food, tap your back because you are going right (your taste buds will kill me☹)
LIE teaches you PATIENCE
Why will a person who is feeling miserable, having emotions dying to come out, not vent out his feelings to his peers? Possibly, he has that hunch that they are not the right people or it’s not the right time. People who genuinely know you and care for you will instantly detect your state of mind. Being patient with your emotions by lying, lets you know who those people are.
Being frank about your emotions to everyone eventually devalues them.
Patience is a skill, and lying is a source of learning it.
Everything has its perks and lows. The greatest challenge of becoming a smart liar lies in understanding the intention and outcome of that lie.
Be an HONEST LIAR.
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